MILF’s Recruitment Campaign Backfires in Philippines

MILF’s Recruitment Campaign Backfires in Philippines

The Onion Lisa Buckner

In response to the recruitment campaigns successfully implemented by ISIL, the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) in the Philippines has attempted to drum up similar support by utilizing American pop culture - highly enjoyed by Filipino youth - to demonstrate how ‘MILFs’ are incredibly sought after in other parts of the world.

Promotional videos announced how pursuing a lifetime with ‘MILF’ is an honorary title to be conferred onto young men. In response, militant training camps were flooded by middle-aged women seeking to serve as jihadists for the Islamic cause. This came as a surprise to the young male recruits, who were suddenly overwhelmed by unfamiliar erotic feelings.

During a summit with a representative of the Filipino government, MILF’s leader Hadji Murad Ibrahim was asked whether he had “Googled their group’s name,” to which he replied that he did not. Ibrahim stated that he has not had Internet connection for several weeks due to a dispute with Comcast Inc., who purportedly pushed for an ‘all-inclusive sports and adult entertainment package.’ A spokesperson at Comcast Inc. has denied these allegations.

MILF’s futile recruitment campaign, which nevertheless failed to enlighten Ibrahim to the sexual nature of his group’s acronym, will likely be disastrous to the terrorist organization’s longevity. MILF faces increasing scrutiny by other Islamic organizations, which tend to highlight the way its name may attract Western recruits. A prominent ISIL leader was quoted last month saying “we are trying to instill terror and fear into our Western enemies; our goals won’t be achieved if we evoke memories of f****** Mrs. Robinson.”